but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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