This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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