Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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