We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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