Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
