Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
