How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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