This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
