I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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