there's paper in my vomit.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's never too late to be topless.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
