Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
