Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
