I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
