Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
