Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
