my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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