You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
