the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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