the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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