the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
