its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
