can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
