all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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