she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
