So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
