Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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