Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
