Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
