I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
