Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
