he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
