New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize