i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize