You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
