Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize