I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
