six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize