It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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