Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize