You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
