he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
