i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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