My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
