Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize