My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
