You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
