Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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