I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
