you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
