This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
