whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
