how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
