i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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