Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
