we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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